You said to me, 'I will forget what you said to me tonight. I will never forget."
So I say to you, I will never forget the two palms on my face and to my mom for protecting me. This night made it the third palm on my face from you.
A drunk man came home, asking for more alcohol from his wife. Wife nicely advises him to watch his health, he slammed the glass cup on the table several times in display of his absurd anger. His daughter jumped in shock from the chair, she requests he tones down. He points at her and shouts at her to shut up before charging towards her and giving her a half slap because he missed.
Daughter continues to support her first statement that he will wake people up from their sleep. He attempts a kick, hit yes, momma stood in front in protection and suffered as a shield. The repetitive movements towards her mom enraged her and stirred up her courage to shout at her father. By no impulse, the words 'get out' was thrown to her father's face. Hurt and unacceptable these words, he hurled another slap onto her face. Still withholding her tears, she warns him not to touch her mother.
Slammed the cup once again, this time looking hurt and gazing at the floor but still hurling noises. Daughter withdrew to the room in obedience to her mom, he smashes a glass bottle and she painstakingly hears her mom clear up the shit.
No other family to turn to, she whatsapped her sister who's no longer staying in the house although she's not married. So comforted by the kinship when her sister called, she broke into tears on her phone, struggling to piece out words. She wished her sister was there to stand as a family but on second thoughts, her sister suffered enough in his hands although she may very well have deserved punishment. Her mom stopped her sister from coming home to check on things for this was no surprise occurrence.
No sound of any loose insane man in the living room, she went to wash her face clean off filthy prints. Sound asleep, yes sleep away your problems even when God comes for the world. Unbelievable. She took a shot of the usual scene her father never failed to be in, wish she could upload.
Her mother probably was immune by now but her door was kept slightly ajar, with light coming from within. She knew her mother was crying silently, as usual not to worry anyone. She keeps to herself and faces everything by herself, what noble motherly love. She cried because her daughter was hurt, she was too used to getting hurt by him.
Daughter can't recall the last time her tears flowed uncontrollably, veins red in eyes, all swollen. The bin filled to the brim with stained tissue papers will remind her the next morning it was no nightmare that night.
There were a few times I imagined would we be in a better condition if you were gone or passed on. What insolence and impiety I know, life is so miserable with a broken family. What can be thicker than family ties?
These 18 years, I barely remember the times I respected you as a true father, one who supports the family and takes care of us. We need not live in laps of luxury but act the very basics. People whom we truly love, we look out for them; protect and love them. I never felt protected by you ever before, unfortunately.
A father teaches his children to grow up righteous and promising, young children see their parents as role models. What do I see from your life? Alcohol, alcohol and alcohol again. The air was hardly clean with you around, smoke billowed all around. Womanizer, what filth and disgust. Loan sharks up our necks, you never gave my mother money, you only suck her dry. You never celebrated our birthdays as far as I remember the last time when I was terribly young, not forgetting my sister. Not even a card or a cake. You even resorted to borrowing money from your children. What unworthy pride you possess to choose jobs in your state?
A husband or head of family does not behave like this. What gives you the right to correct people or worse, lay hands on people? No, shout like a lunatic and raise unwanted attention from neighbours. I never have the chance to lift my head upright in front of my neighbours because you ruin it all.
You planted the seed of envy in our hearts, to long for fathers that others have. Regular working hours; brings family out for a gathering; instills in the right values and earns the respect from an endearing father.
Or at least, a sober man to talk to.
I smile along with my friends who share happy stories about their families while I hide away my ugly stories. I learn from strangers; others the right values and be optimistic in life. Any idea how tough that is? Facing something every single day yet fighting to turn away and learning on your own how to handle it properly.
You never know the sleepless nights I cry myself away, we cried away
Why can't you just leave like a man and fend for yourself? Any idea how many people you have put out apart from your closest kins?
Mom gave me three stabilizer pills and asked me to sleep. These genuine touching words my mom spoke of, "Whatever it is, I'm too used to it. I just don't want any of you to get hurt."
My God seeks of us children to honour thy father and thy mother. Love thy enemies. It's not that hard anymore because I'm constantly reminding myself to.
You are unworthy of my posts. I just need a venue to rant, I'll feel much better. Somewhere people will read but I won't put them out, somewhere people will understand but not ask me because it will bring tears to my eyes recollecting my childhood.
This thought of missing school tomorrow crossed my mind like in the past but I need to stay strong and not run away.