Hola
2010
I've been thinking of a good post to sum up 2010 but somehow I just didn't have the time to
This year.....has been bumpy, like a rollercoaster ride
I got my heart hurt deeply by people I love the most
Last year 2010, my once the most important clique dispersed, leaving just Joanna and myself
Reality is cruel, people you love so much could backstab you right deep without battling a tear. I don't mean verbally. They turn around and point fingers at you, leaving you clueless and in a pool of tears.
God is so good, he gave me a heart of forgiveness because I really don't know how of us can forgive such an act. I'm so thankful to have her back in my life
Ryan still contacts me once in a while
Last year 2010 a person whom I attempted to match make my friend with stepped right nearer to my heart
My life brightened up and getting up everyday was just sunshine beaming down at my face
The ache never persists, I was so happy, simply in love
That's my baby, Josh
Which human relationship don't have their set of squabbles/ disagreements/ setbacks?
Drove me to the wall; wish I could yank my hair out; scream at him like there's no tomorrow; chase him out and forbid him back here
At the end of the day when I'm feeling extremely weary and darkness just lurks ahead, you never gave up on me, you held my hand till the very day
You made me believe guys who loved with their hearts still exist and there's one just right beside me
I'm so thankful
You brought me new family members, people who treated me as one of them and vice versa. I love them
When I say at the back of your mind, somewhere deep in your heart, there's always this person whom you love; no matter what the place can never be taken even if you're attached. Hold on, that doesn't mean you're being unfaithful. It's just this firstlove, this special love you'll always remember
Well, I do have. I struggled four years fighting with myself. Staying single thinking/ hoping he'll be back for me one day. Despite all the nasty shit I've been put through, all the deceit; all the false hopes; all the sleepless nights; just tear-wet pillows to sleep me through
I thought this person returned for good. I admit I was misled; I was distracted. I held onto my heartstrings far too long, I saw a glimpse of hope. It was like the greatest dream come true
It was yet again another battle, I prayed fervently seeking God's help and strength to tide me over.
So.....I asked myself
Do I want a relationship that I've always dreamt of having but not gonna be a smooth one or cherish the someone that God gave me dearly and move on in life. I can't be selfish
The thing about me, I hold on to things too tightly.
Second chances may not mean a second try but a time to end things right. So true so true
So they say people who were once truly in love can never be friends again. Second that
Along the way in my love life, I lost touch of my friends I was once so close to. It was agony man
Hubz; Xiao mei; Gee, we used to meet so often. Now what has become of us? It's so sad, I can't even recall the last date we met. I can't recall the last time I told someone I'm meeting my friend
Friends will always be utmost importance to me
Last year 2010, God placed someone I was once close to during softball days. Grace (Gee). We met again at a chalet and who knew God set things right between us and we were back to how we used to be. This was one of the greatest wishes I held secretly. But I feel like I'm losing it again due to bad time allocation. Sighs
Last year 2010, Gee introduced me to Yoguru and I met so many nice peepo. But where the good is, the bad will exist. I'm happy working at Yoguru and to the extent I'll miss it the moment I knock off
Last 2010 Hubz and I were close like hubs and hubz. Miss all the times staying over; meet ups all over the place; talking to each other anytime we wanted; hugging each other each time we bump in sch, getting so excited. I miss the times terribly, hubz
Last 2010 xiao mei and I met up once in a while for meals and catching up. I was always late and she just can't tolerate that sort of thing but she never once threw her temper at me. She's so nice to me. It's sad how we aren't as close as before after we stopped working. But to know how each other feel just makes me feel all gay again!
Last year 2010 a once very close friend of mine Chouchou suddenly vanished into thin air. What seemed he could always feel what I was feeling without telling him and he'd randomly ask if I was okay suddenly ceased. I was upset. Friends don't treat friends like this. But he returned, apologetic but I know things will never be the same again
Last year 2010 we were close and still are. These are the peepo I've been hanging out more frequently with than the others. God bless us to walk straight together as a group and keep it going
Last year 2010 I stopped going cell group sessions (though I return at times). I feel bad but I just need to feel that conviction once again
Last year 2010 my school group was big and the row of seats were limited and I refused to go lectures because I'm always the latest one and I'm so worried I won't have seats. Thankfully Say lee was nice and I sat with her, that's when my attendance went back to consistent. Also, that gave us more time to chat and I realised how long we haven't been talking. Feels like a chance. And I wanna thank God again
Last year 2010 my family found out that my f a t h e r cheated on my mom for the fourth or fifth time. I was devastated. I thought my tears have dried regarding any issue of his. We snooped through his phone and found out he's been remitting money to that woman whom he calls wife in mandarin. He buys gifts for her nephew and food for that family. He asks his lao po to drink more water in hot weather and take care of the health.
I hate you for breaking my mom's heart. I hate you for sucking my mom dry of her money. I hate you for giving money to that woman which you claimed you needed for business. Pui buiness. I hate you for this broken family
Why don't you just leave, you're utterly shameless and leeching off us
This place is not a hotel for you to pay money and order what nonsense you wanna eat. Don't be a mad man and scream holler slam when we say nicely want to eat, go and buy back if you have the sincerity. Preparing for you is no problem
Can't you see how tolerant we have been towards you? Just appreciate it and stop your nonsense. We wouldn't have gotten you a Christmas present if we didn't care, you were so touched
Prolly anybody reading this will lash insults; hurl abuses lectures at me. Be through it; been through it then you're fit to comment. You'll never understand this torture unless you go through it. So respect me kaykk?
Last 2010 December was horrid horrid horrrrrriiiiiiddddd to me. I fell terribly ill for weeks, close to a month. Killer cramps and injuries all over
Last 2010 I decided to show more concern to my family and I did, I'm so thankful and glad to see more love flowing among us cept for you.
Last 2010 I became more hardworking due to the wonderful timetable and the discipline to study a bit daily because I had one more thing to juggle, work at yoguru
Last 2010 my friends didn't give up on me despite how shitty I've been with responding to them, taking days to reply a single text and it just goes on
Peepo like bbm visits me often at work, knowing we have lil time to meet. This happiness lasts. Simple things like buying coke and asking for ice all over because I really wanted.
Last 2010 TP brought Keefy and I closer, we lost contact for 2 years maybe? I'll respond quicker really, don't lose hope
Last 2010 Snakey and I kept in contact, though it started awkwardly but we are good now and times are easy to get back
Last 2010 the 4 of us created our meet ups as AGM meetings, we went to Genting and it was awesome three days. Miss the times we used to play mj but we don't need mj to enjoy ourselves. See you guys nearing end of Jan for our major agm meeting
Last year 2010 san yi sponsored my share to go Hongkong with my family as my birthday pressie. It was the first actual family trip and I really appreciated the planning by sis and lester. It didn't get pleasant along the way but we made it fine towards the end. And bbp joined us!!
Last 2010 my two loved ones celebrated their bday together on the same date and I don't know why I feel so happy seeing them together
Last 2010 I decided to avoid the sea of crowds; getting molested by bang ga las; sprayed in my hair or face; squishy squashy. I initiated a dinner with mommy which usually I'll just leave her at home. I know, I'm horrid. She was happy though she made so much noise, I could feel. That's when I'm secretly happy too.
Countdown at lower seletar reservoir with khongX2; Ishy and bbp. We wrote what we were thankful for; our greatest mistake of the year and resolution for 2011. So many comments bout resolutions but heck really, you know you made a resolution, follow it. Don't make unrealistic ones la. Good moment of reflecting as we sat in the serenity of the reservoir.
Deja vu
Such a place, holds so much meaning to me
Last 2010 I drifted from anybody I can think of, so upset with myself but it's really limited to what I can do. I just hope you guys understand and let's keep things going together!!
All in all, I crossed the hands of 2010 alive and kicking!!!!!!!
With Joshy by my side, I feel so much stronger and I know I've got someone to catch me when I fall so don't break my heart baby pork
I think I'm done. I know I've used a lot of simple words here but sometimes the simplest words tell the meaning the best. I don't know if anyone has survived till the end of this post but yep, these are my heartfelt words.
Good night peepo, it's 2.45. I should get my face washed; put on some mask and be early for church cause my momma is alighting me at church tomorrow
Oh yeah, I'll add piccas here soon
1:51 AM
i dream of you.
♥