actually i dont know where to begin from.
i carried a heavy heart while heading to sch.
it never got any better, instead it aggravated.
i DONT WANT her to retain.
i want to see her in the same class next year.
pointless, since everything is confirmed.
no more begging of teachers will do.
i suggested that she speak to the principal herself since her mother....
damn it.
i got very emotional.
six months, six months kept ringing in my head.
it will go pass very quickly.
it was embarrassing, in front of snakey, say lee and others.
but i want you to know, whether your fate changes or not, you have got me here. always.
not forgetting say lee.
i just want you to be happy.
i can only do my best to help you, even things like blog templates and stuff.
even walking up the steps like numerous times just to look for our form teacher.
i dont have much chances to do those already.
and those sec two girls are horrid.
ppl wont really respect her in cca, should she be in the same class as them.
ahhhhhhh! i dont know what to say. my mind is in a whirl.
i couldnt even bear to see her in the counselling room, sorry say lee, i worried you.
but i saw si ling crying. sigh, i knew she wouldnt accept it.
but the fact still lies there.
whether you improve or not, some things are just difficult to amend.
its not as though i dont see it.
i feel the sting deep there, when i knew one by one were going to be retained.
i was like damn lucky, because just a few marks lesser, i would be retained! its by sheer luck!!
in fact, i would quit sch if i were retained.
sorry to snakey for my behavior today.
sigh, i thought shi min wouldnt retain.
anyway, its not called waiting, snakey.
its just, never mind, i mentioned in my previous posts.
i know im not fit to blame God, and question, "why are my prayers unanswered?"
be it grandpa or si ling.
sometimes i really feel i dont wanna carry those weights.
i seriously feel like giving up.
i feel i dont have the strength to face the challenges awaiting me next year.
i dont feel like carrying on.
6:18 PM
i dream of you.
♥