i dont care, i dont think my tears will stop flowing, i will just type.
my heart pumped veryvery fast suddenly during morning assembly.
this happened once in a while. that meant that something was going to happen.
and wei shen joked, " its going to rain."
let me calm down first.
its been a long time since i have cried in this manner.
it was months back.
and its giving me a throbbing headache and difficulties in breathing.
think, whats going through my mind?
aww the headache is killing.
thank you wen/wei xiong for helping me to touch up a little for my art.
i told char yesterday that i wanted something to drink, that can make me drunk.
she bluff saying okay.
but i know she wouldnt allow. i wanted to know what will i say or do if im drunk.
reached home at eleven plus. washed up, went to bed.
couldnt get to sleep. kept tosing.
i think i was asleep already. phone kept vibrating under my pillow.
didnt know if it was a dream or what, thus i only checked after twenty minutes.
twelve forty two i supposed.
he asked about the tag.
then he said he roughly knows, and that losing a friend is a big deal.
indeed it is.
what if that friend is me? would it matter?
i dont really think so...
its hurting like shit now.
anyway, wan changed place with chee zheng.
dont really like it.
but i hope i can wan in his studies though.
i kept laughing today, or rather nowadays.
i told char im already trying to be happy when im with friends and her.
i didnt realised. then she said, like that like forcing yourself. i want you to be really happy, true like that.
somehow listening to josie's blog song really makes me feel like crying even harder.
its a very nice song.
on one hand i told char i have thought it through, will she be happy if one day i really can let go.
she said of course! and she said she wanna bring me to zoo!
its been a long time since ive been there. she said i was Very happy when she mentioned.
dont have the mood to put smiley face here.
the smile wei shan gives me now, is different already.
say lee and i exchanged barely less than three sentences today.
we gave each other weird looks.
i dont feel at ease when im with her.
still thought of something in class, "besides you, WAFFLE is the other thing i cant do without!
supposed to laugh now. but i cant. dumb.
anyway, jing yi, and a few ppl touched the wet green railings. hahaha their hands got wet, especially jing yi's! super funny. she still ahhhhHHHHHH. and looking at me.
she messaged me, good night my dearest dinosaur. aww.
good im laughing now.
i love my sweetest snake, and shes the best.
chanced upon grace's previous blog. i saw the test she took. go read it, reminded me of some things.
and im touched when ppl like htay aung and wei long remembers stuff like me, of the past.
its a very long post and i dont care.
while crying, i received his comment. i was appearing offline.
he said to catch up with me after his prelims.
since when things were DIFFERENT before and during your prelims?
your photo caption went, love ya.
before you went offline that day, you said the same thing.
thats why i told you you dont mean it.
and im assured it is true now.
must you make me waver now?
must you spoil my decision?
im not gonna reply your comment.
i will just let things be as it is now. we shall see how things go.
and they are meeting on friday.
and, he said me, after prelims.
so why the hell do you still want me, this Friend for?
im not being paranoid for nothing.
hahahahahhahahahhahaha and charis is super funny.
"NO CHARIS!"
see la. want to be serious then funny things kept coming.
anyway, i saw say lee's profile la.
and something just isnt right if emelline isnt there.
you've got your closest close and i've got mine.
different characters cant mix, we will just be friends.
i learnt this during chinese lesson. let me translate it.
dont walk the main road for it is other ppl's experience that you are walking.
walk the small paths, things are different,
and its your own experience.
I MISS JOSIE. AND I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.
i miss shue ling.
I MISS MY OLD HOUSE!!
things werent like now.
the razor appeared very tempting. im proud i didnt fall for it.
charis is nice la.
3:51 PM
i dream of you.
♥