it is currently 2.43 am.
and im taking a big risk being here.
and im super tired.
but im waiting up for a friend who's supposed to be revising but came online.
thank you to those ppl whom wished me on friendster! (:
31. xiao ming.
32. mr blue.
33. stick insect!
hehehe thank you mr blue. he said he would be the very last friend to wish me happy birthday. that's what he meant by his better idea.
and he said really lovely things. love! (:
jerren just talked to me. jia you!
anyway, motive here was to wish him all the best for his prelim. (:
as i said, mood was ruin by mr chia.
mummy ordered cheese fondue back.
then i met charmaine at seven forty-five.
jiejie didnt really like charmaine.
charmaine didnt really like jiejie.
i bought my black heels like finally! yay!
charmaine paid for my pencilcase or clutch like thing first.
BUT im paying her back.
hehe charis is nice, i really do think so. her comment is funny.
im sorry zimmer, i know it took you a lot of courage. i feel bad to see your personal message, wrong move zim..
sorry. but i told you the truth. i hope the friendship can still be maintained.
my head is really hurting. how? v, are you revising now? can i catch a nap secretly?
need to meet pinah at one tomorrow to do my ic. thus my plan to do filing should be a no.
had grape juice plus not-nice rocky road. shared half with her.
aww my head is hurting now.....
then we talked. i felt i trusted her, and her family background is roughly the same as mine.
suddenly, i told her the ugly truth of my family background.
she said, seriously she did not know that it was such.
and she said after hearing what i told her, she felt im very pitiful, and dont want ppl to bully me.
and said im very xin ku.
i was controlling my tears...
everything was coming back, from that blk of 935.
she cried for me. i did too. then she stroked my head like a sister would.
i realised both of us were similiar in many ways.
and she really treasured me.
she said, she just had this feeling to get closer to me, that i was a strong looking girl with a very fragile interior.
shes the first person i told so much about my family past.
i told her a lot about him. and why i can be quiet and suddenly very high and down again.
jiejie and charmaine have started commenting that i used to very simple, now looking at me, i have matured. its a good thing.
i told her, i really trusted him a lot, and everything he said. he said he dont care if can prevent or not, he would try his best to protect me. he would wait as long as he could. he would always be there for me.
but he didnt knew he would the one who would hurt me the most. and leaving me here crying till now.
i relied on him a lot. it seems as though i would collapse with this pillar of strength gone.
its all because of my family past that im like that. ppl said im childish but matured looking.
sometimes those exterior things are meant for covering up.
thats why it really doesnt matter if you have a girlfriend.
i dont have to be with you.
i just need you to be there for me, its enough.
charmaine said, what would happen if he knew i was doing so many things behind his back.
actually, i didnt do anything for him.
i dont know either.
my eyes and head are really hurting please.
hehehhehehe ka hee wished me happy birthday!! oh my goodness, first time. hehe happy. (:
and mr blue still remember the double smiley.
i dont like school.
im running away from it.
why are you so into clubbing?
2:43 AM
i dream of you.
♥