Rebecca
Twenty seventh August, 1992
Seek Ye, Lord!

Web album(Partial photographs) : MY WEB ALBUM

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Always remember the goodness comes from above

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Angeline
Benson
Cheryl
Claire
Daphne
Fidelis
Grace <3
Hong lim
Isaac
Jaslin
Joanna
Jonan
Jing yi
Jiun ru
Jie ying
Ke wei
Li hong
Maxyne
Miracle
Nizzam
Pek shia
Phoebe
Say lee
Sandy
Sean
Shi min
Shi min (Germaine)
Si ling
Soo ping
Vincent
Velarie
Wan yee
Wei zhong
Xing xia
Yun ting

2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

21stAugust2007

calvin asked me out to study yesterday.
i agreed. he can go out with girls, why cant i go out with guys?
anyway i had a talk with chye ning.
she said im over sensitive.
but she doesnt know everything that happened.

i told her, its because of him that i exchanged numbers with guys, studies went downhill, and started going out with guys, watching horror movie and stuff.
i never used to do all these.
im not blaming him, but this shows how much impact he can create on me.

finally got phoebe to accompany me to study with calvin at bk.
say jun mei and priscilla.
initially i saw donovan and samuel and dont know who.
sigh, his friends. then i saw terrence again. aww...
then benson and say lee appeared.
then andy.
just reminded me of the chalet once more. i really dont like this la.

i couldnt focus on my maths. kept thinking of him.
i saw guys that asked for my number before.

anyway, around eleven thirty, he messaged me.
i wasnt taken aback and as excited like previously.
he seemed weirdweird yesterday.
he used sweet words on me, fortunately, i know how to react already.
i talked to him confortably, he replied moderately fast.
BETTER THAN PREVIOUSLY.
didnt wanna tag but he used tiptap so i just tagged.

he was good yesterday, anyway.
he said he thought i would go with say lee.
hehe so im feeling better.
he told me there would another one on sunday.
i asked bout' her.
he said, he dont want her to go because too far. booo.. never mind. hahaha.

miss soh rejected my layout for like five times la. finally i could trace on the silk.
didnt go for recess today. i walked alone, very slowly, wanted to be by myself.
had the urge to walk to councillor room, i somehow missed it,
but the bell rang.

i left maths paper blank. anyhow write for first question.
mr chia is awfully disappointed in me, shaking his head each time he walked past my table.
sorry...

im searching for who i used to be,
but i feel even more lost in the deep forest.

aiya, wanted to block him on msn and not reply his mesage.
but i did anyway. anyway hes online now, but im appearing offline.
zimmer is facing backstabbing and fake ppl problems.
i know how you feel.
i hope you can focus, and be stronger as there are much more painful things waiting for you to go through.

had a good chat with mr cheong today, during oral.
i waited for one hour before it was my turn.
came down at 2.25, reporting time was 2.30
i couldnt buy food to eat.
i didnt eat during recess.
hehehehhehehe i kept wailing i was hungry.
raphael kept offering me his white grape tea.
hehehhehehee wei shen and kerry was awfully irritated by me.
not excluding the ppl around me. hehehehhee. : D
but i felt dizzy without food.
one thing in common, everybody offered me their hand, saying drumstick. hahahhaa.
the more i closed my eyes, i thought of swensons! WAFFLE! cheese lava! ice cream! hehehe.
funny time.
jing yi(3A3), kerry both shook their head when i did, saying we dont know how to read.
haha.

anyway i hope i can do well for POA test tomorrow.

im left with some pictures and videos to upload.
probab;y only possible when my dad is not around.

suicidal thoughts came in more frequently.
si ling told me i will bring misery to my parents for the effort and money they had spent bringing me up.

Lord, i feel like seeing You...
bring me to paradise.
i hope im not so sinful that i cant get to meet You one day,
i feel like taking my own life, but im taught that i would go to hell.
for the life and body was given by You.

Labels: i need more than a torch to find my way .

5:44 PM
i dream of you.

♥