19thAugust2007
last night, dad threw the tissue box against my door.
i jumped up la.
i thought it was his usual slamming of things, didnt thought it was my door.
then he opened the door and asked me to go out.
i hung up the phone with charmaine.
as usual, he would disturb me.
then he said, tomorrow morning go to church.
i explained before why i refused to go to the former church.
yet hes compelling me now.
he said, i hope you can influence me to go to church.
i said, you can go you go la, why must i influence you to go.
i was irritated by him.
then he said, okayokay, never mind. go.. GO!
after which, i heard sounds like him hitting his own chest. sigh.
pressurizing eh?
anyway, phoebe and i are going out today.
went to mc for lunch.
phoebe upsized her meal and finished every bit of it. thumbs up.
on my way to meeting her, saw this girl wearing very little.
was wondering whom it was. i found out it was ya qi after i reached mc.
we went to fareast before proceeding to marina square.
aww very tiring to be out with phoebe.
haha. she kept looking at necklaces and softtoy, piggys!
yeah ppl know its not at all my interest.
but i learnt my lesson after dinah's incidents. yes i did.
so i hushed about it and even tried to be enthusiastic.
wanted black pointed heels and the shoe i dreamt of having for soooo long.
finally i found the ones. BUT THEY DIDNT HAVE MY SIZE!! ):
dang. i was really upset la.
was veryvery tired that day. i dont know why. but very tired.
dinah messaged me while i was having lunch, saying shes very sian and wanna go out.
i replied, why not for dinner.
no reply.
and i just got reminded by my friends that i had reader's test tomorrow!
i havent even smelt the first page of the book. internet was down, and i badly needed to blog.
and wanted to look for reviews, better than nothing.
dad went to woodlands to get the cd but eventually it failed.
dinah called at 8.40, asking if i could meet her, she wanna eat.
i was super tired la, and having my favourite snow jelly.
then i asked mummy, she didnt allow initially.
i put in good words, mummy said im like at her beck and call and stuff.
i just said, but shes alone now, and hasnt had her dinner.
mummy knew no matter what i would go, and so i did.
zimmer was angry with me for not listening to him.
sorry. but afterall, shes still my friend. and my best friend to that in the past.
she said she might consider working, all the best.
those few days were really awful for me. tiring and emotionally eating.
oh, i remembered. jiejie came to my room to talk in the morning.
she told me her stuff, and i shared with her mine as well.
as i said on, i almost cried.
hehehe i couldnt go to her room. we were messaging.
i told her, i cannot go out of my room.
i have to fake sleep if not he would force me to go to church.
jiejie told me the same thing, nevernever ever trust your friends, anybody 100%, totally.
only your family. they wont hurt you like that.
friends used to be my world, family was aside.
i even said, i would die without my friends, i didnt put in that much love in my family.
as i grow, and the more jiejie told me, i start to play my part as a member of my family.
i have a lot to blog. but i just cant remember the exact feelings.
4:29 PM
i dream of you.
♥