18thAugust2007
i coudnt come online these few days as my stupid computer was down.
luckily san yi offered to lend me her laptop on saturday.
was on my way to mc already.
but i recieved say lee's message suddenly.
she wanted to go with benson. okay, that, im fine.
she messaged something like, "woots! i saw v's girlfriend! XD"
i went like really? haha
she said her english hor, speak until very fluent like ang moh like that.
i went haha.
she said, somebody jealous already.. and that stupid faces la.
so i went like, haha, i no mood to play with you today.
she said something like okok tctc.
seriously, the whole day i was thinking of him already.
then she had to keep saying and saying.
she knew the moment "his girlfriend" is mentioned, it would hurt.
i decided to walk around khatib alone.
cried a little on the way. then sat somewhere.
somehow, calvin found me.
then we talked.
thanks.
lied to calvin i was meeting say lee so he and his friend could go cycling.
i plugged in my mp4and walked here and back and there again.
calvin turned back, he was worried for me.
i told him the truth and told him not to worry.
he decided to go after a while.
it was my first time out at night alone, walking aimlessly.
it felt very scary please.
called kuku. her prepaid had to go out of cash at that point of time.
sad.
partly was because yi ma and all were at my house already.
got home. saw qiang biao ge and wife.
dad was drunk, shouting for me to call sister home.
went into room, was really on the verge of tears already.
then san yi came in.
and talked to me.
then yi ma and baby came in, played with my bunny.
joel messaged to say the two things in my room were really cute.
san yi showed me the yellow orche bunny on my table.
joel wrote his name there. (: how cute.
he made me smile.
san yi asked if i prefered staying in the old house and here.
i mentioned about violence in the old house, lesser over here
i told her bout' my problems.
categories, not contents.
she went on talking to me.
thank you for spending time to listen to me
anyway, i was controlling my tears, didnt felt good.
worse, we had to take photo. i didnt smile at all.
sigh.
they left, the shouting came. the slamming and banging came.
then i couldnt take it, and started crying. badly.
charmaine was angry because i told her theres nothing wrong with me.
then i called her.
shes unwell. hope shes fine now.
she thought i had flu, i told her i cried.
she listened to my problems.
oh ya, i got reminded of my childhood.
royston, joel, and catching shrimps especially.
that hurt a lot.
she said im really silly, and she said i only listen when she say his good things,
and when she says his bad things, i think its untrue. haha.
next morning, i recieved san yi's message.
when i recieved your sms, heart pain for you.
aww...
thank you san yi.
and she and jiejie told me one thing, dont trust anyone 100%.
ONLY YOUR FAMILY.
those ppl whom dont cherish you but hurt you, dont bother bout' them.
its all in the past already, move on, you have to move on.
i shall post tomorrow.
have to rush out art, revise for maths then off to bed. its 10.31 now. no time.
10:07 PM
i dream of you.
♥