went out with wei shan yesterday.
she waited at the first cabin, and i, at the last cabin.
haha she got it all wrong.
we agreed to buy a dress and bag together when we go out the next time.
i urged her to go back to yishun to look for her boyfriend as hes alone.
my stomach hurt the most yesterday. you cant imagine the pain.
i grabbed the pole tightly, i felt all weak and i forced myself not to faint.
i tolerated. and fell onto the "stone chair" and waited till i felt better.
sorry wei shan, i took a long time in the toilet. but aww reallyreally hurt.
wei shan cant make it on monday. so its alright. : )
she called me best friend! : D
yay i love my best friend!! : )
chye ning came over to my house.
she waited as i prepared.
re-tied her hair manymany times, "scorpion".
i tied in the way i wanted, halfway.
i put on mascara for the first time. dang. it smudged. haha..
but it was fine after i rubandrubbed it off.
the concert was fine. but throughout i was either thinking of him or the little boy.
he was awfully cute.
i was wondering if he really had activity. and i seriously felt bad for not going with him.
i dont wanna create trouble for you.
i dont want you and her to quarrel if she knows im going with you alone.
get it?
chye ning told me although hes with the girl, the one he loves is me. true?
i dont know.
took cab to qi sheng's house.
one by one, they came out to ask me in.
but i didnt have the courage to face the ppl inside, since i was thinking of quiting.
im sorry.
plus kian meng was there, kam chuen too. they already reminded me of him.
nono.
ppl complimented chye ning's hair. : )
they said she looked ladylike that night. : )
sorry stick insect, you kept persuading me but i just refused to go in. really sorry. : (
kam chuen, kian meng, jun long, marcus lim, jun xiang, andre, kar wee all came out to ask why i didnt wanna go in.
daphne, marcus soh, jaslin, josie as well. hee happy.
but really sorry.
in the end i went inside for a while. to give qi sheng "face", blah.
mr blue said i could drink if i went in.
i took him for his word.
andre disallowed. and stopped him.
mr blue tried his best to give me. : )
then he said, want me to drink with you?
aww... then we hit the cups and he said good luck.
"must drink in one short ah."
drank. ugh, it was hot!
burning my throat, after a while, it burned my stomach. hot!
i know i shouldnt drink. i know its bad. i dislike ppl to drink. but. hmm.
i wanted to get drunk just over one small cup. funny eh?
was thinking since i drank half a bottle of barcadi breezer, my head spun and i felt dizzy.
that means im weak, so i may just succeed.
i didnt wanna think of you.
thus, i got a headache and hot! inside!
although the XO might hurt my stomach as i blahblah, i went ahead.
i refused to reveal the name of my friend whom gave me the drink.
cant betray him. qi sheng said, if i know you think i let her drink ah? : ) hehe.
before leaving, i promised marcus lim i would go to church tomorrow.
ya, it was a hard decision.
kar wee, chye ning, mr blue, alex and i were supposed to take cab back.
but mr blue and alex bade goodbye and said they were taking bus.
we could take the bus together what?
and mr blue called me best friend too. : )
aww it was supposed to be a happy night. but thinking of him totally reversed it all.
perhaps guiltiness towards him.
chye ning, " i dont think shes pretty. you so pretty why he choose her dont choose you. "
thanks. but i think she does look fine la.
at least he would be happy with a pretty and good girl.
i thought i had misplaced all my keys!
i told firstlove. he was huh! then how? got ppl to open door for you? : )
then i called home. yeah mum naggednaggednagged.
i told mama i was going to church with her tomorrow.
im sorry, i told you some rubbish. i believe you remember? sorry..
wan messaged me too, calling me dear and angel and stuff. thank you for trying to console me.
messaged marcus lim till 1+.
dad came home drunk.
talked to me, again, put me in a very difficult position.
"if you regard me as your dad, if jiejie dont reach home by 3.30am, wake me up and tell me."
dont always ask me to do this kind of thing please.
set alarm at 3.30. but i think i was too tired.
oh. main thing.
dad was wearing this necklace like thing.
i didnt bother much.
then he said, " girl, im going to tell you something that will disappoint you a lot. you know whats this thing im wearing? buddha."
wow, how you want me to react.
i felt tears coming. i looked downwards and controlled.
went into my room. sorry Lord, i couldnt control. thus the tears came.
aww its too much, too much.
jiejie and i had been rebuking each other lately.
the things she said had been too stressing on me, i really cant tolerate her stupid attitude.
she mesaged me a few times and asked me to return home and not be selfish.
DAMN!
WHYWHYWHY IT COULD HAD BEEN A PREFECT DAY AND NIGHT.
black sheeps will forever exist and smudge my life.
just as i decided to take my first step into church, my daddy, the one who has been telling me about Christ and scolding me when i left church, and telling me to go back.
had to tell me that...
he said he saw that thing two days ago. and buddha seemed very active.
you dont have to do that right?
fancy Buddhism. i hope you wont make me dislike Buddhism. i never had.
andre just talked to me online. sorry, for making you angry. because i cant reveal my friend's name..
sorry...
he said goodbye then. sigh.
you didnt reply me after that.
you werent there when i cried my heart out.
you...
forget it.
8:21 PM
i dream of you.
♥