theres no sch today.
i was rather deep in sleep or rather forcing myself to sleep through the morning when i heard my house phone ringing.
hee i feigned asleep cause' i dont wanna wake up and get the call.
but it was my call. it was shi min. she asked if i could go downstairs my house and accompany her.
i agreed since i know she wasnt feeling too happy.
i supposed it was still early. took a peek at the clock and its only 11 like that!! aww.. my sleep.
i took close to half an hour to prepare. i thought shi min had left.
phew! after waiting for a while, she appeared.
we then went to JK house. i mean outside.
she asked me to peek inside to see if he's home.
it was scary okay! hee. well, i had to do it for her.
i walked past the house acting like some dummy. and peeked.
i saw a sister in specs using the computer, i saw a typical mother standing in the middle of the living room with the television on.
but i didnt see JK and any white flip flops.
we stayed outside JK house and chatted for a while.
we went to eat chicken rice, i had green tea and shi min had black current whatever. haha
we went back there again. and chatted.
then we went to ABC to buy whiteboard markers cause' she said SHE WANNA "VANDALISE" WHICH I KNOW THE MEANING.
bought permanent markers instead, she said she dont want the writings to be erased.
i know i shouldnt encourage her to do so but i prefer her doing this then to hurt herself. sigh.
i pressed 9 12 9 12 9 12 5 1 9 12 9 12............. haha then she was done.
we kept standing outside JK house and talked and talked.
the things we said, or rather, the things she said reminded me so much, so much of the past.
things like charmaine getting her friends to defend me against jas, shi min, janice with the help of wei zhong, wei long, JK etcetc.
we were both wondering what actually happened.
hehehe she was so *gong. i was so *gong.
it all happened cause' of me.
and i didnt know what happened.
and she didnt know what happened.
but we were involved. hahaha
both of us were wondering who was the culprit, who tattled tales.
blank for me. then shi min suddenly said, ahh i think its shue ling. YES ITS SHUE LING.
it suddenly struck me. yes! its shue ling! i remembered already!
she was the one who fed me with all those infomation and trying to pull jas away from me.
now i get a clearer picture, shes trying to sow discord between jas and me again.
she kept stabbing me. she stabbed jas in the past.
for the sake of separating jas and me. ahhhh.
shi min said shue lign de dong ji hen zhong.
yes i agree. sigh, she isnt the shue ling i know.
she is scary.
eileen is scary too. shes so off and on. and its A BIG SUDDEN.
and vel is always following ppl's noses. whywhy.
i told shi min how i thought of her in the past. and she clarified all my huhs about her in the past.
i understand shi min better already.
shi min is not that bad afterall! sigh! i regret being pulled along by ppl's comments.
sorry, i will try not to in future.
she said that kian meng is looking cuter. hehehe i agree too!! kian meng is cute.
both os us said that kian meng is a very nice guy. : )
hehehe. shirley too.
she said she regretted leaving him.
i told her i wouldnt mind considering kian meng if he really did fall for me.
hah! but seriously, looks are just a littlelittle for me, but mainly its from the heart.
come on! dont decieve yourself, looks are important to everybody, its just the amount.
hehehe we saw a fella running like the wind and jumping on something then running across the road.
ahhaha hes really funny! then shi min and i kept laughing.
she told me about her, THE SPRINTER. hehe its funny!
theres this cute little boy who cycled cirlces around us, in the void deck. he cycled really hard. we were afraid he will fall off soon.
hehe i said this boy will look very handsome when he grows up in future. hee!
i rarely say ppl look good okay.
i felt i could trust shi min.
i told her bout' yellow.
i said so what if he had liked me for a year plus, there are other guys who are like that towards me as well.
but he was the guy whom i had given in so much to.
yet, the other guys whom i dont give in so much actually still wait for me.
sigh. whywhy.
i told shi min stuff that i would actually take a long time before i tell a certain person.
i must had trusted her so much. shi min. dont let me down okay?
i told her, i didnt like yellow at all. i knew him cause' of jing jie.
i wasnt really concerned whether he was chasing me or not. as that time i had enough already. ya. bad thinking.
dominic, his best friend then told me that yellow liked me.
i said cant be!
i remembered yellow was feeling sad because of his parent, i think sick or something.
but he didnt want me to worry, so he didnt wanna tell me.
dominic asked me to cheer him up, and yellow acted as though he was fine and wasnt showing any sign that he was unhappy.
dominic offered to ask him to tell me what was the problem.
i said i dont want, i think i will ask him myself.
dominic said something like, you'are a good girl, thats why yellow likes you.
all the more i felt i had to try to like yellow.
actually i have feelings for any guy. cause' they all treat me well.
i really get mixed up with the real feelings.
sigh.
took me so much, and so much time and things to stablilize my feelings for him. it was so late then, ending of last year...
yellow kept asking me out and to talk on the phone with him. i said no to all.
actually, its really wonderful that he could hold on for so long. it had been hard on him...
im sorry yellow! sigh...
i miss yellow very much.
yellow: quickly type finish and go sleep hor! and dun tink too much of tt stuff k? get well soon.
he messaged me after he went offline. thank you yellow...
sigh, it feels consoling to see him showing concern. but i know its a friendfriend concern already. hah!
replied him, thanks, take care and ask kian meng to as well. and i said something like did kian meng see everything?
i didnt get a reply. common. he didnt used to reply whenever his friend is at his place. sigh, again. its the past.
but at times he would try his best to reply me...
replied me in the afternoon. seeing a message from yellow really made me smile. sigh.
rebecca, please stop thinking!
shi min told me her story of her and JK. sigh, lovely story...
too bad everythings over...
shi min, i hope you can pull yourself together and be happy okay? i want you to take good care of yourself.
shi min wants to go for the speech day at VCH with JK very badly. but she cant have the chance.
i had countless chances in my hand yet i let go off all. i deserved it.
i shall help her to ask JK.
felt like crying today. was surprised by myself. sigh. i seriously miss the past la.
shi min said i had a chance. she thinks that we still can turn back. and that yellow still loves me.
i wish so too. hah!
she asked if i will accept yellow if he broke up with his girl and asked me. i said, that will be only after i graduate.
she said. SO LONG. ONE YEAR PLUS LEH.
she just told me edwin and cheryl patched after a year like that. now shes saying its rather impossible.
haha.
anyway even if he does turn back, i wont accept him i guess.
hes probably gonna be unable to forget his past girlfriend.
i mean everything is going to start again.
hes nice. but hes cant handle his feelings properly. thats because hes too nice. and too ppl oriented.
sigh, good point leads to a big bad point.
i just miss the past. so much.
Lord, i hope you can keep this little *blogrefuge a secret okay?
pleaseplease. i wonder hows yellow gonna jump and freak out if he sees this. and all my friends.
they wouldnt know how terrible i actually felt inside.
yellow came online just now, i wanted to go offlne already.
decided to wait on to see if he will talk to me. well, he went offline.
jay jee had gone to teach kam chuen.
so i shall talk about jay jee tomorrow.
shi min, be happy!
12:08 AM
i dream of you.
♥