had been considering or rather planning to get a mc to not to go to sch on thursday.
im so shed.
had been rushing out my homework and stuff and tests until 12+ 1.
and i dont have sufficient sleep and energy for the next day.
sigh, i kept falling asleep practically every lesson.
sorry teachers!
i decided i needed a day break.
went to see a doctor with mummy to get a mc.
i had always had problems with the bottom left side of my backbone.
the pain is always on and off and its really disturbing. really painful.
ppl who know me should understand that i dont see doctors even when i have a fever for 1 week.
i mean what for? sick then sick. whats the big deal?
i have never skipped sch for one full day before. the most is if i dont wanna go, i will DEFINITELY go during recess. thats me.
but see, the fact that im skipping for the whole day, it means somethings wrong with me. and i have no idea what is it. (its a short day for thursdays)
sorry mummy, let you spent 25 on my mc and medicine.
went for "art remedial" then i heard pang! pang!
B GIRLS SOFTBALL MATCH IS ON ALREADY!
i wanted badly to support them. so i told miss soh i had to go, she asked me to bring back the quite huge canvas back home to complete it.
say lee was with her friends.
i sat at the canteen there to watch. i dont know what result i was hoping for.
my back was really painful and i was feeling warm despite there was wind and i felt dizzy.
really sick eh? God is giving me retribution for skipping sch.
cant blame Him. its my fault.
wan came to talk to me and said bout' say lee.
saying that she kept contradicting what she had said.
wan, get used to it la.
talked to maxine, isabelle and josie.
yay! mojo accompanied rebecca today!! : )) heheheh im happy!
take care mojo, you said you felt like vomitting. maybe the weather's a killer.
i think isabelle's nice girl. shes different from angeline that group.
li ran looked moody today. i felt sad. : (
i dont know, i think among that group, li ran is still the best despite mojo telling me that she has changed the most.
she cried, then laughed. hehe. then i looked at her and said, you okay? feeling better?
she smiled at me. hehe it felt the same as her last time smiles. : )
love. take care li ran, you have to be strong!
oh ya! kian meng was throwing his boots up onto the top of the cabinets.
he said wet, have to dry. cause' theres a fan up in the ceiling.
hehehe after he threw, he looked a little satisfied. hahaha
i went like, kian meng, it wont work..your shoes wont dry.
he looked curious and listened on. hahaha so funny.
i said cause' if your shoes and upside down, how are they gonna dry??
he said, really ar? and immediately took a chair and adjusted it.
he wanted a bat to move the shoes nearer to him. hes too short la. hehe.
then chye ning's brother was already holding the dustpan to pass to kian meng.
haha i was like holding the wooden bat.
then he said, ahhhh hai shi ni bi jiao cong ming. (to CHYE NING'S BROTHER)
i was still holding the bat then. hahahah i felt like a fool. hahaha (THAT MEANS YOU ARE SAYING IM A BEN DAN!??)
hehehe.
he just didnt want my help.
i kept shooing him home. hehe cause' i wanna go home!! and i take the bus home!!
then hes so nice, tried to go home ASAP.
he walkwalkwalk so funnily as usual, then said EY YAO BU YAO ZOU DE. then yong poh said, ZAI DENG NI AH!
hehe so funny.
kian meng heard it and swayed his body here and there and turned back a little and said, wo hou mian na ge ye zai deng wo..
hahahhahaa thats really funny la! i kept laughing.
kian meng, be healthy always!
oh and i had SIP cause' i didnt do the POA homework. its like one ques. only.
i didnt expect that i would get SIP.
i went punctually and saw alton there.
then i happened to see jia sheng's SIP form on the table as well.
im like, oh no!
then he came late and sat BEHIND ME.
hes such a disturber and joker. and worse is jas they all spreaded that i like him in 3A1. gosh.
haha I DONT LIKE HIM, i have somebody else in mind...
er zi kept asking me to do work for him. he has to learn! wonder if he called me "mummy" for the sake of asking me to do work for him.
yeah, i know im wrong by doubting him. but. haiya.
please do your work! dont anger teachers!
miss soo came in for quite a while. then she said shes gonna call it a day. it was only 4.30. im like, HUH! SO FAST! I HAVENT FINISHED MY WORK.
i then realized that i was enjoying SIP. ahha its nothing just that you sit there and do homework.
its fun, nothing bad!
hehe.
oh ya, maxine and i agreed to go to sch late on a particular day. hehehee anyone know whhyyyy??
cause' we wanna go SIP together! hehe silly right?
but both of us think that SIP is fun! : D
heheeehe.
maxine is back! oh yes, she messaged me on msn, yay!! you are back like finally!
hehehe : )) i was thinking. did you miss me a lot maxine?? hehehe i did okay!
maxine was telling me that jaslin's sister sniffed glue.
she felt really guilty for telling teacher.
but maxine, nobody will do the dirty job. its only true friends who will sacrifice to tell.
joanne may hate you now, maybe to the core. cause' shes being sent to IMH.
but in time to come, she will realize you did it all for her good.
it may take a lonnnggg time, maybe years.
but that day will still come. dont worry! you did the right thing! i know you care for her.
sigh, heard that jaslin's father went to scold miss lo cause' shes the form teacher. then she cried.
jaslin cried too. sigh, it has always been a lot of stress on jas. now its gonan increase.
sorry jas, i couldnt go over to console you. i know you wont like it.
so i can only pray that you can be happy... sigh
hope that your lips and hand are recovering.
vel is still ignoring me. she exoects me to say sorry. sigh.
and, my black embriodery(s.p) purse is finally found!! yay!!
everything is intact! hehehee. : )
maxine's letter, and all my cards, charmaine's letter and green heart all in there! yay yay yay!!
they are precious.
i told God, please help me to retrieve it. if it doesnt, its meant to be...
and God helped me.
hehehe thank you!
it was rather a miracle cause' its been about 1-2 months since i have lost it and its back! : )
hehehe thank you whoever it was.
maxine was nice to rebecca : )
josie was nice to rebecca : )
and manymanymany ppl asked me why i didnt go to sch or turn up for softball match. i held up my green mc. hahaha
and major tan kept asking me funny questions when i went to retrieve my missed purse. hahaha.
then i kept laughing or smiling.
then he said i asked you and you laughed and smile. keep laughing.
ehehe i like major tan. hes cute! : )
i shall greet him each time i see him.
principal/vice talked to me today. hehe happy. then they asked about the scores.
all the ppl in orchid park are so nice. except for some though.
and i miss the aunite!! hevent seen her for days, wheres she?? : (
calvin kept messaging me. i didnt wanna reply. haiyo felt so irritated.
it all became like this after i saw he and his friends. and he messaged me i looked good.
argh, i felt damn weird.
wrote me a note to ask what has happened. is the thing still affecting me? i have changed so much. i kept avoiding him blah blah.
yes, the thing is still affecting me. but i dont know why am i reacting this way to you either. it really feels damn weird..
sigh, i coudlnt balance my POA test!! : ( i felt horrible.
i wanted to do it well for yellow. but look.. sigh.
but the whole class passed! yay at least i did. i didnt really let yellow down. that much.
im gonna go to joel's church with mummy, aunt and grandma etcetc. to celebrate good friday!
im trying my best to return to church! a little hard though.
sigh, yellow is still the one who understands me the best. even if i keep denying something or the way i talk.
yellow just know it all. sigh...
yellow keeps asking me to take care.
yellow kept probing what happened. what injury i had and such.
i said nothing. until i felt as though i shouldnt keep lying to yellow, i told yellow the truth but not in details.
yellow kept asking me to take care.
thank you...
sigh. i know i shouldnt keep going online to talk to yellow. i know that by doing this, im making myself fall deeper.
hah, but i feel as though i dont mind.
its too deep to climb out in the first place.
but i know yellow wont turn back already, yellow has his girl already.
be happy kay!
looking at yellow online too so late reminds me of he messaging me so late at night, till 2+ am.
then it leads to the time i waited for yellow.
so manymany memories came back.
i remember playing O2 jam with say lee till past midnight.i remember topping the scores always.
i remember forcing myself to love audition though i know i will never be able to grasp the art of it.
its just all for yellow...
suddenly i dont have yellow anymore.
yellow said sorry to me for the things in the past.
i acted as though everythings past and i dont bother.
it is still bleeding in there,
i dont cry at night anymore,
you still keep in touch with me,
i realized it makes me feel better,
and i have decided to plunge deeper.
because im really tired and wanna give up trying my best to climb out of that pit.
just leave me in there, would you?
like how you had already.
just fly happily and i will be happy too.
God, please bless all my friends to be happy and always healthy!! love!
oh ya i got SIP cause' when i came home, i slept. woke up and went online and talked to yellow.
then revised for chem very late. too tired, didnt do POA thats how i got SIP.
and i told say lee, i didnt regret though...
10:39 PM
i dream of you.
♥