forced myself to sleep through the morning.
cause' i wouldnt know what to do if i had woken up early.
sigh, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS APPEARING IN MY DREAMS HUH??
i felt like crying. but realized i have became much stronger.
tears welled up but didnt flow. yay.
actually i was hoping dad wasnt around so i could do my things freely.
sorry to mummy, jie jie, and dad that i always raise my voice when answering y'all.
hee who asked y'all to choose to talk to me when im snoozing!! hehehe.
i keep coming online to see.. to see if..
sigh. why am i doing this man.
yay meeting mummy later. wonder which shoe i want.
sigh, i want the cybershot T100! its so nice! red in colour.
but i think its way beyond mummy's budget.
and i realized big fonts here are ugly.
went to shirley's blog. then read and read. hey! almost everybody's birthdays are there! mine isnt!! : (
nevermind, its okay. its not really affecting me. hahaha.
weather forecast is a big bluff. claimed to be rain now. but its like still sunny?
it always happens. when it forecasted it will rain on this training or match day,
it always disappoints me. grr.
but sometimes, it will entertain me a little. hee. by showering jus a few seconds then.
s t o p.
whywhywhy i keep missing the past. even when i was having my that square thingey categorized in the ban mian thing, it reminded me of you again.
reminded me when i was stil staying at 935.
i would try rush home because you would message me by 6+ or 7+. sigh, then slowly became 8+ then 9+ then 10+ then 11+ then later and later.
sometimes not even one.
damn, if i could like what mrs loke wrote in my report book, CHANNEL YOUR CREATIVE ENERGIES.
i mean if only i could have good memory to memorize everything well for my studies, how nice...
and my memory for you would fail, how nice...
oh yes, went to shi min's blog cause' her birthday is approaching. (YA LA EXCUSE.)
read and read and read saw and saw her photos.
then i saw rebecca.
she thanked me for showing my concern.
actually shi min, i was wondering if i should show my concern towards you.
many times i wanted to say jia you or all the best during matches but i never had the courage. and didnt felt like.
but you seemed so alike like me that time.
since the match y'all lost, or whatever, you start to play badly in the matches and cant focus. cant bat.
hah! same as me, so i understood. then i asked you if you were fine.
so i told her to jia you... hoping she would understand what i meant and hope that she will get back to form!
im feeling as tired as kian meng.
i feel like playing piano now.
i feel like doing art after that.
then my homework.
then meet mummy.
i dont feel like thinking of anything.
oh yes, i think im skipping remedial tomorrow again.
REALLY SORRY MR CHIA. I BET I WOULD HAVE DISAPPOINTED YOU.
but im sorry, there seem to be no pull to tell me im supposed to prioritize my studies over the catholic high match.
and sorry Lord...
i dont mean it. but i dont know, im trying different approaches to numb myself.
maybe i would get SIP or disciplinary stuff.
but im sorry, i dont seem that afraid anymore. in fact, haiya i dont know.
just feel like getting into trouble.
maybe this pain will overcome the other.
i hope i wont lose interest in sch.
maybe say lee was saying about me, maybemaybe?
she said she was afraid she would ignore me like what she did,
maybe shes refering to a guy or maybe me.
maybe the like she did was shue ling??
i dont know. hah.
aiyo, didnt know she scolded so much of vulgarities in the past.
haiyo.. it was really crude.
anyway ppl change, so i have to give a benefit of doubt to her.
and give her a chance.
be happy everyone...
hope b boys will win catholic high!
oh yes, jun cen will be there tomorrow. hee.
i guess im gonna write mr chia a letter saying sorry to him and explain why im skipping.
or probably get my mother to write a letter.
but cant really entrust say lee to pass to him for me. im afraid she would blurt out.
and i dont want her to do anymore things for me...
sigh.
depends on which consequence i want.
yay perth is approaching!
i just wanna leave all shit behind. and forget.
chasing cars is nice.
oh yes actually i thought of crying for nights then get a flue and headache after a few days then i can get a mc and satisfy mr chia.
but no, MY TEARS AINT SO CHEAP.
SO I WILL CHOOSE TO FACE THE MUSIC.
1:27 PM
i dream of you.
♥