Im sorry, I wanna tag at your blog several times but I couldn’t. sorry for the pain I have gave to you. Sorry for bluffing you so many times, not that I want. But I really wanna bury any problems and pain I face in my heart.
I don’t wanna share it with anyone. I don’t wanna spread the misery to other ppl and let ppl worry for me.
I have wrapped many gifts of disappointment to almost everybody already, they are unwanted but still you all received.
Its really very torturing inside… I have many boulders on me, so hard, so hard to breathe… and to see say lee lose the guy she loves and treasures so much pricks me a lot, she doesn’t show it but I know she is feeling the ache inside.
I don’t know how to console ppl, I cant only listen and share with the person. But I really want her to be happy.
I know she will be happy if he returns to her, but again I think she truly deserves a guy who loves her MORE. Its not his fault that the feeling is gone, but he could have cherished such a marvelous girl. What a pity.
Sigh, my seniors have changed, which means? No more them already…I have lost them.
Councillor… I stayed on for the promises I have made to you teachers… im sorry that I have to break it, its really xin ku to stay on.. what keep up the rules, total crap. I don’t see anyone really doing it. Whats the point? My clique is gone too.. im sorry!
Teachers… argh, theres so much for me to handle by myself… so much pain…
I really don’t like my family… my dad doesn’t understand me and expects things to go his way through threatening. I wake up in fear wondering is he at home? Is he at home?
And my sister.. so dirty! Stealing money.. almost everything, and pretends saying no I didn’t! what a sheep clothing . it really irks me. I don’t mind sharing but not with a person like her!
Im sorry Lord, I know I have to forgive and forget… but its really torturing.. really really hard for me. Help me Lord! my way of life is grasped in your hands.. shape it for me! To be really strong, and not feigning…
I really hate to control my tears and not allow them to flow out of my eyes. But I cant let anyone see them. Sigh.. nobody knows the problems I face, they think its so easy to live well, to be a real happy person.
And, I wanna say sorry to all of you, for lying everytime saying im fine.
And to say lee, and my close friends, big sorry and thank you. For tolerating with my terrible mood. Really sorry.
And last of all, to him.. sorry. To let you wait. But there are restrictions,
And, I feel inferior. And I think you deserve someone better, instead of a girlfriend who has so many problems bottled up. I just want the best for you…
be happy say lee!
4:15 PM
i dream of you.
♥