finally bought my school bag, shoes, file today.
hmm i saw one cute green giraffe shirt. hehe i liked it so much and decided to buy it, then i asked the auntie, can cheaper a bit or not ar? then the auntie was so nice, she said okay i round off the figure, 12 dollars. so nice right?
hmm sorry say lee, i kept spending time looking at stuff. well, i was just like you. my heart wasnt totally here at all. hmm you seem to have changed a little... dont know why.
sigh, dont know why these few days my heart has been feeling so uneasy and uptight. so weird. and the problem is, i dont even know what caused it, there seem to be so much stress binding me down.. so many things to think and worry about... i dont know why when i was packing my clothes in the room, i just suddenly cry... i dont even know whats going on.. it just happened so naturally..
God.. please ease my heart.. i dont understand why, im supposed to feel so happy yesterday, and i truly reallyreally did. but, the moment i reached home, it just instantly felt that way. maybe i was trying too hard... maybe this maybe that. i dont know.
sorry everybody, i've been so temperant. please forgive me, i dont mean it. but argh thinking of that, i ruined the stupid sun. so hard to paint that few patches. yeah, i regretted repainting it.
sorry say lee, for letting you wait for so long.
hmm i told him yesterday that i may not talk for long, he asked why. i then said nothing, and insisted i was just joking. i didnt want him to worry for me, i needed someone badly to confide in... there are ppl there.. but... sigh. argh, get that feeling away!
my foot hurts badly, theres this "ore ceh" on my nerves. it hurts badly whenever i really move my foot, maybe a ball hit it or so.
hmm really glad to know that andy and say lee is talking already. hehe i thought it would be hard for them to start talking again. phew, i can dont worry so much for them already.. hmm he asked me to take care of her, actually i do hope that they may patch one day.. but again not. hmm well.. because.. yeah..
hmm i feel that say lee and mine friendship is getting sore.. i hope this will not continue. both of us are quite similar, we keep problems and feelings to ourselves. both of us pretend happy, even though we are not. but there are more differences between us.
God, please help me.. please bless everyone.. and that they would be happy. sorry that i will not be going for tomorrow's american school training. sigh, my heart still feels that tight and heavy...
hope that he has slept already, always sleeping so late.. hmm then i will have to bluff him that im fine, and pretend happy.. be happy everyone!
11:53 PM
i dream of you.
♥